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Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
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2:28 am - Watchmen saturday morning cartoon.
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2:15 am - What was the number 1 billboard song when you were born?
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| Monday, March 23rd, 2009
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12:37 am - New comic up
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| Friday, January 23rd, 2009
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6:24 pm - huh?
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Some goth kid in my apartment complex just yelled "that guy looks like voltaire!" while pointing at me. I don't see it myself, but it was still pretty funny.
current mood:  amused
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
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4:55 pm - New comic
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| Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
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9:04 pm - Big move!
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Ok the biggest news of all has happened in this past week. As of yesterday, I officially live in Jacksonville beach! I'm 2 minutes from the ocean, and my job at the school is in walking distance. I have a nice little two bedroom apartment all to myself with the second room being turned into a studio/library (I have a fuck-ton of books). There is only one quirk. Since most of my furniture was left to me by grand parents from both sides of my family, my place looks like a grandma lives there. Lots of weird antique and baroque lamps and flower print patterns that are decades out of style (and not in the retro way). Lots of lacy things like doilies and shit as well. The lamps are absolutely hideous (in an awesome way) srsly. I'll have some pictures soon when I am all unpacked and the place is degrandmafied.
It is on a northern exposure making it ideal for art purposes as the sun will be constant and even all day long. I have the biggest window in my living room going from shin to ceiling and it is on the third floor. It has a fitness center and pool as well as constant community activities. As I walked up the stairs the neighbors were sitting on the stoop smoking incredible amounts of pot. I don't smoke myself but the smell is pleasant to me for some reason. Also, there is an old Ukrainian woman living below me who "doesn't have any English" There were two kids in the park arguing over who gets to inhale a helium balloon. I don't live in an apartment. I live in a parody of an apartment. I've set the place up for maximum gaming potential and will be starting regular game sessions. Pie will be a fixture at these games. D&D and Pie. PIE!
I am also getting a puppy soon. It will be tiny and fierce and will have a beard and mustache. probably a small terrier.
On another note, I began my first oil painting three weeks ago. I haven't quite gotten the hang of it but I am working on mine along with the students. I'm trying to show them that I'm trying to grow and do things outside of my comfort zone as well. Hopefully the lessons will take for them and for me. 2008 was not the best year for me. I have however grown because of my experiences. 2008 set me up to have a blissful 2009. Enough money to live comfortably and save. Enough time to work on the things I want to work on. Enough of both to travel a bit as well. Here is to 2009 and its promise, and to 2008 for its mangled hideous dogged determination to scape through the awful to raise me up.
current mood: content
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 8th, 2008
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3:44 pm - New apartment!
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I just got my new apartment. It is a nice big two bedroom all to myself. I plan on making my own studio. I'll get some new furniture as well with dual purpose, of course and finally have an apartment to play dungeons and dragons in or maybe just dungeons ;-)
current mood: cheerful
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| Monday, December 1st, 2008
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8:45 pm - new comic up
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I posted a new comic.
Here it is. http://chainedspecter.comicgenesis.com
I don't have much in the way of time lately. For those who don't know, I started a full time job teaching Drawing and Painting at a small private school. It is a wonderful job. I love the kids I have a class room that I have absolute authority over. From the decor (I've painted skeletons everywhere and mathematical diagrams and all the weird esoteric information regarding arts more peculiar traditions.) I control the curriculum meaning I teach what I want to teach. Painting, comic books, photoshop whatever. Best of all, I have the authority to boot kids from my class if they are disruptive. Something most public school teachers do not have the luxury of. I can also dress how I like (which is a kickass surprise) And the kids are so much fun. I am teaching kindergarten all the way up through senior high and for the most part they are a great bunch. I love giving my high school students a hard time. I have a reputation there for being a bit of a mad scientist/artist. Arguing with a high schooler is the wit equivalent of unpausing the game when your opponent has gotten up to use the bathroom and hadoukening the crap out of him.
The other great benefit of this job is that I can just paint all day. I have started oil painting and am working on a project alongside my students. Plenty to keep me occupied and to study.
I am seeing a sub now. We aren't exclusive or anything but I like her a great deal and she is wonderfully, smart, geeky, obedient and attractive. I am planning on moving just after christmas. There is a nice two bedroom apartment a block off from my school. It's a bit expensive but I can afford it and am torn on whether I should make the spare bedroom a studio or a dungeon. Speaking of which, I finished an Autobiographical BDSM comic but I don't think I am going to post it online. This being out of the way means that I can get to work on the script I've been writing for a fictional piece of erotica. Time is a wonderful thing to have for art and art alone.
current mood:  sleepy
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
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10:28 pm - clothes
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| Monday, September 8th, 2008
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9:46 pm - really
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Sometimes it seems like the humpty dance is my ONLY chance to do the hump.
current mood:  cranky
current music: Talking heads-Flowers
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 21st, 2008
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9:45 pm - anne rice.
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Those who know me know two things. I hate Anne rice, and every time I write something over 3 paragraphs it gets reposted here because wherever I wrote it, it is in serious jeopardy of being deleted because of how much of a jerk I am.
I can't stand Anne Rice. Her writing feels at once both masturbatory and pretentious. The woman can spend 3 pages describing an object but never show you the essence of that object. Seriously three paragraphs describing how orange a womans pubic hair is? Her character Lestat was basically a perfect little circle jerk of self insertion. Her chance to play at being a beautiful homosexual man who was perfect in every way. Oh so clever and pretty and strong and seductive and most of all bored with mediocrity.
the finale to her vampire chronicles is one of the funniest things thats ever happened to amazon.com. She converts to christianity, Lestat does the same thing just like a perfect little mary sue character would! to make matters worse she refuses to let an editor touch it taking her already live-journalish writing and ramping up the fanfiction factor. When her fans (rightly) complained about it in the reviews sections of it on amazon, she responds to well written criticism with the grace and decorum of a 15 year old girl who had her pokemon harry potter slashfic laughed at. A long winded essay talking about how brilliant she is and how stupid the people who don't like her work are. She manages to actually insult fans of her books with a back handed compliment. The whole thing was two pages and didn't have a single paragraph break in it. I think her plan was to assault her critics with a wall of text that no one could make it through without dying of laughter. By this point, all sense of legitimate criticism goes out the window as she has just thrown out all hope for polite discourse and the whole thing spirals into laughing at the fat aging goth woman having a histrionic hissy fit on the internet. The zenith of the thread casually suggested that hurricane katrina happened because God read blood canticles and said "ENOUGH"
I understand why she is popular but god even when she gives a character a flaw it is always a perfect flaw that makes him or her oh so much more perfect. bleehehhhhhhhh
Interview with the vampire. I read that and there is a bit about how Louis is slowly dying on his last day. His body is shutting down and he is overwhelmed by his acute senses. She glosses over the more unpleasant bits (aside from Louis whining about what a jerk lestat is) and with a throw away sentence mentions his body shutting down and the fluids and humors associated with living were slowly forced out over the course of the day. At this point I'm thinking "ew. urine shit snot bile tears pus are all trickling out of every hole in his body" but he is too busy running around in a daze of sensory overload to spend the last day of his life in the outhouse like any other human being on earth who spends over 7 hours shitting uncontrollably. He runs off into the Louisiana swamp to smell all the trees and terrify a few slaves. All with snot exploding out of his face and poop in his pantaloons just vomiting and pissing all over himself as Anne Rice romantically depicts his transformation as being something profound rather than a hilarious act of low comedy that were we to witness it we would no doubt see it for.
Lestat and Louis and all the others tell their tales no doubt omitting all the times where a woman kneed them in the crotch when they tried their vampire shenanigans and inflate what would obviously be a prissy little super fast slap fight. rather than some epic duel to the death.
lets analyze Louis tale to the eponymous interviewer for a moment. I'm assuming that it takes place in the eighties some time and louis is chilling in a bar with his satin cape. (really? a cape?) and goes up to a hotel room with this random guy. To be interviewed. I can see that. A reporter goes into a bar and sees a guy in a cape he's going to think "all right! A ridiculous human interest piece I can submit as filler on a slow news day on one of the zany fixtures of the new orleans nightlife! Jackpot!" louis never mentions changing clothes after his poop romp in the swamp. His description in the bar leads me to believe he never changed his clothes at all. At least in 200 years its all probably lost all the more hideous smells to one of feint decay. Her characters make me wish Blade would come crashing through the window and with a pose and an evil grin start carving through them while juno reactor crashes and strobes flash.
I ended up putting down the vampire lestat half way through and just reading an illustrated graphic novel of it to get the gist. "I love soandso! I'm cool cause I'm the wolf killer and all noble! I love Armand. I love that random blond chick. I love Louis. I love Marius (but I don't want him to know about it, cause then he won't like me!) I'm not surprised he fell in love with a Saint bernard. Why wouldn't he? He fell in love with everyone else he wandered across. They were obviously sick of his drama and didn't want to talk to anyone that self absorbed and delusionally self important anymore. That leaves just the saint bernard. People are always projecting human traits onto dogs but I have a theory. The dog isn't bothered by his being dead but it seems to still know Lestat is dead. I imagine the dog is waiting for Lestat to go to sleep so he can roll around in him. If there is one thing a dog will do, it is find some dead thing and roll around in it and come home to its master positively reeking.
If one of her characters wanted to turn me into a vampire immortal with eons to study and learn whatever I wished, I would say, "no thanks man. Just go ahead and eat me because I don't want to spend eternity nancing about having anything in common with you."
Thats why I like the vampire role playing games. It is all the pretty gothicness with only as much retarded auto-fellatio as you want to have in it.
So yeah. Anne rice. I haven't read any of her other books but if they are written like her vampire books, I'll want to stick a beer bottle in my mouth and run at the nearest wall.
This rant went a little longer than I anticipated. Don't feel bad for liking her. I can assure you that there is a plethora of things that I enjoy that I freely admit are absolutely dreadful in quality.
current mood: blank
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, August 10th, 2008
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10:51 pm - ROCK-AFIRE EXPLOSION
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| Thursday, August 7th, 2008
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5:27 pm - If only anime girls existed in real life.
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I wrote this in response to someone's statement on a discussion board and I thought my response was worth reposting as anytime I spend more than 20 minutes writing anything I usually end up copy pasting it here.
"If only anime girls existed in real life. I mean actually physically existed. Aren't they beautiful with their big eyes, small noses, cute voices...Would they be as beautiful in real life or frightening though I wonder."
Coming from a comic artist, there are a number of problems with the idea of exaggerated forms being attractive in real life. On paper and celluloid, our mind can overcome the disconnect because we are raised with the understanding that it is ok for a drawing to be stylized. Since the beginning of art, the human form has been stylized and exaggerated. It doesn't mean someone mimicking it in real life would work. I've seen a woman who looks like the venus of villendorf. It isn't attractive. I think just as fair a question is, how come real guys don't look like a retarded dragonball character?
In real life, humans pretty much respond to even minor variation in the human form outside of the norm with revulsion and discomfort. A person with no nose would be as attractive as someone with a 5 inch nose. It trips that part of the brain that says, "something is wrong with this person because they are deformed. Seek a healthier stronger mate so your offspring will have a greater chance for survival."
Other problems you run into include the fact that anime characters rarely conform to symmetrical and realistic proportions by their very nature. Depending on who's drawing them, they may be 13 heads tall (fist of the north star) or only 4 heads tall (ebichu) Imagine if you will, a 5 foot human being with a head that is 1 foot tall. Those are typical proportions of a 4 or 5 year old. A GIANT 4 or 5 year old. Anime heads tend to be wider than they are tall as well. That ends up being pretty lemon headed on such a thin frame that often times, is seen not just on anorexic girls, but victims of death by starvation. There is not often enough room for vital organs in the torso, and the poor thing would likely have a life span of about 11 years as the organ compression would eventually just make them give up after a short and painful attempt to work. The eyes we all find oh so pretty, take up about 1/3 of the skull in many cases and if we are to presume that they are actual eyeballs capable of actually catching light off of an interior retina rather than eye plates, would leave little if any room for a brain in the head of even an ostriches intelligence. Owls have a similar proportion of eye size to head size and despite literary depictions of them in graduation caps, are actually notoriously stupid according to bird rescuers and handlers. The aforementioned dragonball man would look like a body building midget with 5 foot long hair spiked 2 feet high. I dare you to tell me that is sexy.
A real life anime girl would only be remotely viable if the artist were to maintain a rigid adherence to life like proportions. Masamune Shiro is capable of it but he chooses not to draw that way. The Major would be viable but not because she is realistically drawn. She is pretty much a human brain sitting in a robot body so she would be able to overcome these limitations by housing her brain in her chest cavity. (Majoring in comic art brings up all sorts of fucked up discussions) Cromartie high has some more viable human art (well the slightly prehensile hair thing is pretty weird but I don't think it would be noticeable or life threatening. He would just have a thin layer of muscle less than a millimeter thick holding his nose hair and head hair) Crying freeman drawn by Ryoichi Ikegami tends to be pretty close to more realistic but the closer we come to what we consider a healthy ideal, the further away we get from your hypothesis. In your examples, Faye comes much closer than Kyoko though.
The answer is largely no. That amount of aberration in a person in real life would trip more alarms of disfigurement akin to encountering a person with Gigantism, Hydrocephaly, Dwarfism, and that disease that comes when a baby is born without a face plate on her skull to get the sufficiently giant eyes like a fish. Most cases, Barbie is closer to a healthy female ideal. Yeesh.
Also, take it from me. Girls who learn how to behave by watching anime are incredibly annoying. You can usually see them at anime conventions leaping about in large groups being shrill and incorporating bad japanese into their dialogue. They react with violent shock or surprise when something catches them off guard and shriek and yell a lot. I've been there. I've dated a few. Never for more than a month and not since I was a freshmen in college.
It is ok to be turned on by anime. After all, Drawn pornography precedes real pornography by thousands of years. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have plans for my next sub involving fangs, horns, a tiger striped bikini with matching go-go boots a blue wig, and a tens unit. But don't hold it against truly beautiful real women for not living up to a hideous real life ideal.
current mood: amused
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, August 2nd, 2008
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8:46 pm - Steampunk
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Your result for The Steampunk Style Test... The Gadgeteer
You are the Gadgeteer, the embodiment of steampunk technology. Ironically, many of the things that most define your style are probably too large to easily carry about, but given the opportunity you would prefer to be seen surrounded by boiler engines, gear-driven calculators, and incredible automata. Of all the steampunk fashion styles, you place the greatest emphasis on technological accessories, and you are the most likely to create elaborate gadgets that are as much a part of your outfit as your clothes. You probably have goggles, but unlike most people you consider them to be for more than decoration. Whereas most people might look odd carrying a satchel of tools around, for you they may well be essential. Above all, you remind everyone that what sets the genre apart from Victoriana is simply the level of technology. Try our other Steampunk test here. Take The Steampunk Style Test at HelloQuizzy
current mood:  inventive
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 31st, 2008
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3:38 pm - current happenings.
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Ok It has been a long long time since I have updated this or my live journal in ages so here is an update on everything that has happened in the last few months. Things were pretty shitty since my last birthday, but I have reached the light at the end of my tunnel. I lost my job, my apartment, and my girlfriend pretty much all at once and It has been difficult coping with so much crap all at once. But it is thoroughly coped. To all of you out there who have been so supportive of me and got me back out going out and doing things and such, thank you so much. I cannot tell you how helpful you have been.
I am completely out of Orlando and have been staying at my mom's for about a month. I will be moving out next month after I receive my first paycheck. As of yesterday, I am a full time visual arts teacher at a private school. I dropped off my resume, was interviewed and hired in the span of four days. This means I will have some extra traveling money and will be able to go around to various places I have been meaning to visit around Florida on the weekends. I'm still working on my comic stuff. RHS will be resuming. As will some other autobiographical work on the same site. Most of my side projects are done and I can get to the serious task of getting back on my main quest so to speak.
Its a new day!
By the way, if any of you are having a hard time in life, Baking pies over and over again helped me. It is delicious and fun to do. It is hard to feel too bad with a mouthful of blackberry pie.
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Deadsy-Mansion World
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| Friday, May 23rd, 2008
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8:05 pm - I'm apparently some sort of naive Polyanna
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Why is it that people seem to think that because my parents actually liked me or that I haven't been raped or kidnapped or committed to an insane asylum or had some other tragedy befall me, that I have no idea how the "real world" works. Is having had life shit on you from on high some sort of prerequisite for having an opinion on something? Did it ever occur to you that I might have some altitude and an objective point of view on the matter that may have a nugget of insight somewhere? Do I really need to be knee deep in shit to understand how to get out of it? Here's an unpleasant thought. Maybe it isn't luck that I have managed to avoid the worst life has to offer. Perhaps some of it may have to do with the fact that I don't make it a habit of surrounding myself with pimps, pushers, bikers, gangsters, and junkies all the damn time. Perhaps I've watched others hitting those major pitfalls in life and on some subconscious level, managed to not tread in their footsteps a bit.
I put it to you that in the real world, most people only deal with real tragedy (death dismemberment occupational or financial or romantic ruin) at most once every 5 years or so. this isn't the World of Darkness. Perhaps maybe, just maybe, I'm not the freak. Should I be going out and welding without goggles, and fucking random prostitutes or starting a hardcore heroin habit just to get some fucking credibility here? Because I seriously think my opinion would be less reliable, safe, and consistent after a good two years of that not more.
I'm not saying that tragedy is all avoidable. And in most cases the victim is certainly not to blame. I'm just saying that if you surround yourself with the dregs of humanity, people who don't even blink at stealing and lying, your odds of being victimized increase greatly. I know you can't tell who's a scumbag sometimes but here's a tip. If they have prison tattoos or swastikas or gang signs and such, you can bet their morals are a bit more questionable. I don't need to have been date raped to tell that drinking any drink a random stranger gives you is stupid. Unfortunately we can't acknowledge that because it is OH NOES politically incorrect!
Its fucked up that enough people have done this to me that for a while, I was a bit ashamed of the fact that I've had a nice enough life considering; that my parents loved me and taught me to have a fucking conscience and to surround myself with those of good esteem. Is that really something to be ashamed of? Fuck that noise! It isn't some sort of personal shortcoming and I'm sick of people acting as though only shattered pottery is worth a damn. I may have something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation too.
current mood: annoyed
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
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1:17 am
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| Friday, May 9th, 2008
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4:06 am - On the nature of dominance and submission
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I've always been a little bit into bondage and such when it comes to sex. Tying the person up, the idea of control and release. However I never really saw it as anything more than an activity like any other sex act. I did have a bit of common sense about it. I was very careful to make sure the other person felt safe within their threshold. It takes a great deal of attention to the other person's state to maintain the scene. and that discipline appealed to me. I wasn't just controlling my partner, I was controlling the experience she was having. I knew however that the act was all about the sub. In many ways almost an act of submission in itself masquerading as dominance. The Dom's job is to make sure that the sub is fulfilled even to the point of withholding his own pleasure for the sake of prolonging the experience. Not just to take his own enjoyment out of her body. All of this was mostly just instinct however. My discussion on the nature of it never went beyond "you wanna be tied up, teased, and spanked?"
A year and a half ago, something changed. I met a real sub. Our talks on the nature of submission and dominance brought to me a larger view on the matter. The Scene. Not simply bedroom control or sex. Control as intimacy. The very preparation of the scene as the point rather than the scene itself. The sub's gift of the self in exchange for an experience that pushes her boundaries and shows her parts of herself normally hidden. The dissolution of shame or fear into someone else’s will. The contract between Master and Servant that binds them together. My mindset changed radically.
I purchased books voraciously. Studied articles on the internet. Not just porn sites and shit, which 99% of the time get it wrong. I checked out books from the library on sexuality. I bought accoutrements and studied knot tying. Had I the space, I would have probably started constructing rigs.
I found myself using the parts of my brain in devising a scene, that normally are used for concocting diabolical dungeons and traps in D&D. The act became intensely cerebral. This cerebral quality perhaps contributed to the length of the relationship with my Sub despite ridiculously bad geography. As with most games that are well thought out, though, they never got played beyond the theoretical but I still felt the connection.
Something was happening during this process. My sense of identity changed. I started seeing this Dom role creeping deeply into my view of the self. I was no longer simply dominant. I was a Dom.
But there was a downside. It wasn't apparent until the end. The identity I had been building for myself was not on solid ground. The idea of dominance is entirely defined by the contrast of submission just as light and dark cannot exist without one another to define them. When she ended it, the defining juxtaposed idea to the identity I had been slowly building went with her. In the wake of its departure came a fairly rough identity crisis. One I'm still recovering from. I'm not sure what the ramifications of that are yet. I've prided myself in the past for maintaining an identity independent of my relationships. But this time it snuck up on me.
So as a Dom without a Sub who am I? It is funny. The idea that pain is instructive in our pursuit of understanding of the self, is a core tenant of BDSM. I've learned a great deal about myself in the last four days. I suppose I'm no longer a Dom. I won't be a Dom for quite sometime. Finding a person who is special and amazing is hard enough in this world. Finding someone special and amazing who's truly into BDSM is like dating on Nightmare mode without cheat codes. It'll be a long time before I get to be that person again. He has to go away until the moment that the buckle of the collar locks into place on someone special's neck.
I'll miss him.
current mood:  contemplative
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 5th, 2008
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8:35 pm - Gone daddy gone, the love is gone.
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My relationship (such as it was) just ended. It is always hard when you find out you aren't as wonderful as someone initially thought you were. Despite the brain dead premise of the relationship(for those who don't know it was a tremendously long distance relationship that lasted a year and a half) I was thoroughly dedicated to it. The most committed I've ever been to anyone. I'm not one of those people who moons over someone for too long or thinks the world is ending when they break up. I never defined myself by my romantic relationships. Some have interpreted this as a fear of commitment. I don't. I'm just think I'm a difficult person to deal with.
I'm still friends with a majority of my exes and this is not going to be different, I'm sure. I won't look back with bitterness and envy or jealousy(or if I do, It'll be my problem to deal with privately alone not something I inflict on others) This relationship passing will be remembered instead like a family member who I was close to who died. I'll remember it with sadness that it couldn't last, and joy for all the memories I have of it, all at once. I loved this girl with great abandon and I knew out the gate it was a tremendous risk. For the time it lasted it was worth all the heartache. I'd do it all again in a second.
current mood:  crushed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
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12:58 am - I seem to have fallen in a hole
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Ok I have fallen off the face of the earth for a bit. For those of my friends in Orlando, I regret to tell you that I have left the city probably for good (unless I get an exceptionally good job offer but that's a tad unlikely) I shall miss you all greatly, especially my friends over at sketch south. I plan on staying in touch through the Community and through AIM. (Just PM me for the screen name)
The good news for my friends in Jacksonville is that I am currently residing here for the next month or 2. I shall actually have some good gaming! (look out larps!) I am planning on going to grad school in the near future and I'm using this town to set things up for when I move on so I shall be traveling quite a bit all around. Busy, busy, busy! I have a number of places I'm shooting for but I need to churn out some really good portfolio pieces. My options are wide open at the moment and I am feeling psyched about them.
current mood:  Skeleton dance!
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chainedspecter's journal
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